Script

1500 Full Rehearsal

1700 MR. VICE: (Light Smoking Lamp-Advise Smokers that Smoking area is outside)

1700-1830 Cocktail Hour

1830-1900 MR. VICE: (Gather the official party (CW3 and Mrs Callis, LTC and Mrs Kyle Richardson, BG and Mrs.Boyette ) and move them to the designated spot for the Receiving Line.)

19:00-19:01 BUGLER: Sounds Assembly

19:00-19:10 CW3 CALLIS: “It is now time for the Master of the Punch and his assistants to come forward to prepare the punch in the centuries-old tradition begun by stone hurlers and fusiliers.”

MAJ Carranza, CSM EVARTS (MOVE TO THE GROG BOWL), OTHERS STAY AT SEATS UNTIL THEIR CHARGE. CHARGES WILL BE AT TABLES WITH THEM. MOVE TO THE AREA OF THE PUNCH BOWL RECITING CHARGE THEN MOVE BACK TO SEAT AFTER POURING

MAJ Carranza: “Artillery Punch has a long and glorious tradition and has been enjoyed by artillerymen wherever they gather; at socials such as this, during the heat of battle as a source of courage, or at any time a true artilleryman feels the need.”

“Artillery Punch is a substantive brew of proven medicinal value. It will cure what ails you, or it will insure that you don’t care! We wean our children on it, and carry it in our thermos jugs to ward off the winter’s chill. In a pinch, it is an effective bore cleaner for the cannon, lubricant for the breech and propellant for the missile!”

“True artillerymen maintain a base for the punch in their homes at all times and enjoy it at their leisure. In preparation for our gathering, I took a quantity of my private stock sealed it in a flippy, and buried it beneath my neighbor’s pig sty. There it has been aging, and as tradition requires, I dug it up on a moonless night last week. We will now lay it down as a base for our punch.”

(TAKE THE FLIPPY, MAKE MOTIONS AS IF BRUSHING OFF THE MUD INTO THE PUNCH BOWL.)

CSM EVARTS: “The BASE, ladies and gentlemen, traces its heritage to the mecca of all field artillerymen – Block House Signal Mountain – and insures that the initial charge for our punch is correct and proper.

MSG HARDING : (PICK UP BOTTLE #2 WITH A LIGHT COLORED LIQUID AND

SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MESS.) "Charge 2 is champagne, which signifies the quality of the artillery, the king of battle. As is well known, artillerymen, by our mere presence, lend dignity to what would otherwise be an unruly brawl." (POUR BOTTLE #2 INTO PUNCH BOWL)

CPT WAGNER: (PICK UP BOTTLE #3 WITH A CLEAR LIQUID AND SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MESS.) "Charge 3 is good corn squeezins. These squeezins remind us of our earliest American heritage as citizen soldiers who served honorably and secured our nation’s freedom. (POUR BOTTLE #3 INTO PUNCH BOWL)

CPT HYDIG: (PICK UP BOTTLE #4 WITH A LIGHT BROWN LIQUID AND SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MESS.) "Charge 4, a quality scotch, represents our British heritage, with whom we have fought many rounds and with whom we, and our other allies, guard freedom today." (POUR BOTTLE #4 INTO PUNCH BOWL)

LT MAHER: (PICK UP BOTTLE #5 WITH A DARK BROWN LIQUID AND SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MESS.) "Charge 5, a MELLOW cognac, represents the French, who contributed so much to the winning of our national freedom and who have provided many fine artillery pieces for our Army." (POUR BOTTLE #5 INTO PUNCH BOWL)

CPT CHEN: (PICK UP BOTTLE #6 WITH A DARK RED LIQUID AND SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MESS.) “Charge 6 is a red wine of Spain, which reminds all Florida Redlegs of their Iberian roots that were first planted by the conquistadors at Saint Augustine in 1565.” (POUR BOTTLE #6 INTO PUNCH BOWL)

1SG KARLSON : (PICK UP BOTTLE #7 WITH A DARK BROWN LIQUID AND SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MESS.) "Charge 7 is blended bourbon to serve as the catalyst to tie our punch together. It represents all the services of all men and women of arms in every nation and serves to remind us of our common bond and that no one arm can do it all: We must have a combined arms team on the field of battle." (POUR BOTTLE #7 INTO PUNCH BOWL)

CPT RIEDEL: (PICK UP BOTTLE #8 WITH A DARK BROWN LIQUID AND SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS OF THE MESS.) "The final Charge is couth: scarlet, representing the color of artillery and reminding us of the blood shed by so many in pursuit of freedom." (POUR BOTTLE #8 INTO PUNCH BOWL)

CSM EVARTS: (Takes a large spoon and stirs the punch, takes a small sip). "This won’t do, this punch is not quite right--something is missing. What have we forgotten, gentlemen?"

MAJ HYMAN: (Holds up an Army sock stuffed with dry ice) "This sock represents the basic soldier without whom we could do nothing.”

1SG LITTLE: (waves a women’s garter) “And this represent the ladies who make all things worth doing."

(PLACE ARMY SOCK WITH DRY ICE AND WOMEN’S GARTER IN PUNCH BOWL.)

ALL AT PUNCH BOWL: (ALLOW CONCOCTION TO BEGIN BUBBLING.)

CSM EVARTS: “The punch is still not right. What else have we forgotten, gentlemen?”

2LT RINUS: Gentlemen with the modernization of the Artillery, Networking of Fires, digitization of the battle field, and the potency of HIMARS, we would be remiss in not adding a highly unstable but very potent ingredient, (after a pause) ‘ROCKET FUEL’.”

(TAKES MLRS ROCKET FUEL GAS CAN AND POURS INTO PUNCH BOWL, MAKE SURE DRY ICE IS ADDED TO ROCKET FUEL BEFORE POURING)

CSM EVARTS: "I believe that did it. Now I will have the most expendable member of the mess provide us an expert opinion as to the suitability of the punch. Mr. Vice (dramatic pause), please have 2LT ???????? come taste the punch."

(Expendable person does not move at first.)

Mr VICE (drinks full cup) “This punch is fit to be consumed!”

MAJ CARRANZA: “BG BOYETTE, as our Distinguished Guest, would you please do us the honor of tasting our punch?”

MR VICE: (Takes cup up to head table to give to the Guest Speaker)

BG BOYETTE: “This is a fine kettle of punch, suitable for all present.”

19:10 MAJ CARRANZA: “Will a member from each table fill their pitchers with punch and charge each of their table’s glasses to be used for toasting. For our guests and members of branches other than the Field Artillery, a lighter, less potent batch is also available.”

19:10 CW3 CALLIS: (After the music, offer welcoming remarks and introduce the guests at the head table and distinguished guest.ADA CDRS______________ADA CSM__________________________, etc.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________)

19:15 LTC RICHARDSON: (rap the gavel twice, and announce) “MR. VICE, EXTINGUISH THE SMOKING LAMP”

MR. VICE: (extinguish the Smoking Lamp when directed by the President of the Mess)

LTC RICHARDSON: (One rap of the gavel.) “I HEREBY CALL THIS MESS TO ORDER. PLEASE REMAIN STANDING FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM (DJ) AND THE INVOCATION.”

***********CUE PLAYING OF NATIONAL ANTHEM ***************

19:25 CHAPLAIN: (delivers the invocation.)

MR VICE: (Read fallen Soldier, POW, MIA narrative)

1930-1931 BUGLER: Sounds Mess Call (DJ)

1931 1SG DURHAM: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!”

1SG DELGATO: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!”

MSG EADS: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to the UNITED STATES ARMY!”

MSG ROCK: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to the FLORIDA NATIONAL GUARD!”

CW4 HILTON: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to the 116^TH FIELD ARILLERY REGIMENT!”

MSG CATON: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to the PATRON SAINT OF FIELD ARTILLERY, SAINT BARBARA.”

MSG MARCHLEWSKI: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to ALL SOLDIERS, PAST AND PRESENT who have served their country faithfully.”

1SG LANG: “Ladies and gentlemen I propose a toast to OUR FALLEN COMRADES IN ARMS THAT ARE not here to toast with us.”

CW3 CALLIS: “Redlegs please seat the lovely ladies who accompanied you this evening.”

COL DAVIS “Ladies and gentlemen I have the honor to propose a toast, last but most important, to the LADIES!”

No proposing additional toasts

19:35 LTC RICHARDSON: (Rap your gavel twice and ask the following.) “MR. VICE, HOW IS THE MEAL?”

MR. VICE: (After he makes a show of tasting the food, Mr. Vice will announce to the Head Table). “SIR, THE FOOD IS FIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION!”

LTC RICHARDSON: (Rap the gavel and announce) “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ENJOY YOUR MEAL.”

*****SERVERS TO SERVE HEAD TABLE AND THEN REMAINING MESS THE MAIN COURSE*****

(During the course of the meal, Mr. Vice acts as the referee to challenges, which are raised by officers of the Mess. The President of the Mess will assess ALL fines arising from challenges by members of the Mess.)

20:05 LTC RICHARDSON: (As the meal comes to a conclusion, The President of the Mess will rap the gavel twice and announce the following) “MR. VICE, THE SMOKING LAMP MAY BE LIT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE WILL ADJOURN FOR 15 MINUTES TO RECHARGE OUR GLASSES AND ANSWER ANY CALLS FROM MOTHER NATURE.”

MR. VICE: (re-light the smoking lamp)

(IMPORT NOTE: WHEN THE NEXT EVENT BEGINS NEITHER MR. VICE NOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE MESS SHOULD RECOGNIZE ANY POINT OF ORDER.)

*****COFFEE AND DESSERT SHOULD NOW BE SERVED****

20:20 Bugler: Sounds Assembly (DJ)

20:25 (Play the Year in Review Video)

CW3 CALLIS: REMARKS-- YEAR IN REVIEW / UPCOMING YEAR AGENDA

Special appreciation to our volunteers for helping out and the members of the Gator Redleg Committee, Please come up_______________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________

20:30 CW3 Callis : (Moves to Center of Room to Award Saint Barbara Medals) “LTC Richardson, would you please join me in presenting medals to the 2022 St Barbara recipients?”

20:35 CPT WAGNER: “The Honorable Order of Saint Barbara recognizes those individuals who have demonstrated the highest standards of integrity and moral character; displayed an outstanding degree of professional competence; served the United States Army or Marine Corps Field Artillery with selflessness; and contributed to the promotion of the Field Artillery in ways that stand out in the eyes of the recipient's seniors, subordinates and peers, alike.”

CPT WAGNER: Reads the Legend of Saint Barbara

CPT WAGNER: (call recipients forward for the presentation of the Saint Barbara award.)

CPT WAGNER: Please take your seats

CPT WAGNER: “The Artillery Order of Molly Pitcher recognizes individuals who have voluntarily contributed in a significant way to the improvement of the Field Artillery Community.”

MRS. CALLIS: (Reads the Legend of Molly Pitcher)

MRS CALLIS: (call recipients forward for the presentation of the Molly Pitcher award ----Aimie Harris, Christie Little)

MRS. CALLIS: (Reads the ESTEEMED PORTION Legend of Molly Pitcher)

MRS CALLIS: (call recipient forward for the presentation of the ESTEEMED Molly Pitcher award,

Hannah Gleaton)

20:50 (CW3 CALLIS moves to podium and introduces the Guest Speaker)

BG BOYETTE: (Remarks)

21:20 CW3 CALLIS: (at the podium with BG BOYETTE, deliver thanks to BG BOYETTE / BG BOYETTE moves to the front of the stage.

21:30 CW3 CALLIS: RAFFLE ITEMS ANNOUNCEMENT / AUCTION

2145 CW3 CALLIS: Deliver Closing remarks

21:40 CW3 CALLIS: Please Stand for the Playing of the Army Song “THIS MESS IS ADJOURNED. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MRS. SUE BARTEL WHO HAS DONATED THE CENTERPIECES FOR TODAY’S CEREMONY. PLEASE LOOK UNDER YOUR seat. THOSE THAT HAVE A STICKER HAVE WON THE CENTERPIECE AND ARE WELCOME TO TAKE IT HOME.